


SChuunin

by Scedasticity



Series: Crossover Sburb Sessions [10]
Category: Homestuck, Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - SBURB Fusion, Gen, throwing you in the homestuck deep end
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-02
Updated: 2017-03-02
Packaged: 2018-09-27 19:39:25
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10043054
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Scedasticity/pseuds/Scedasticity
Summary: It was a sort of first-and-a-HALF test, and it was... something.





	1. Chapter 1

**== > POSTGAME**

Kabuto had a well-honed instinct for when things got completely off course — most commonly because he'd _sent_ them off course, he was very good at that. And the Chuunin Exam was certainly scheduled to go completely off course, just—

Not quite yet. And not because Konoha's twelve Chuunin Exam first-timers were herded aside into a windowless room shortly after the first test, only to emerge under a quarter-hour later. It wasn't really time enough for anything. He hadn't sensed anything unusual from the room. And yet…

And yet… something was different about the genin. The way they carried themselves, the way they walked — their eyes looked older, and—

Wait.

Were they… _actually_ older? Did their clothes fit just a little differently? It couldn't be by much, but—

That was ridiculous.

This was all ridiculous. But he'd warn Orochimaru-sama all the same.

* * *

It wasn't that Orochimaru had _ignored_ Kabuto's warning, precisely — he just didn't see anything to be concerned about, in his own surveillance. So the brats had gotten mysteriously stressed in a few minutes alone in a room, so what?

He knocked the jinchuuriki well out of the way, and pinned the other two with killing intent.

Until it suddenly — went away. He'd _never_ lost control of his killing intent like that.

"Hnh," said the Uchiha boy. "So that's rage, then."

He brought it up again. It went away again.

Never one to repeat the same failure unnecessarily, Orochimaru lunged for them. The pink-haired girl shrieked and — shot straight up, past the easy landing branches and up into the canopy, red dress flickering away to something beige and bland and — that was _not chakra_ , how was she doing that _without using chakra_ —

The Uchiha boy blasted him with a frankly _absurd_ amount of _very familiar-feeling_ killing intent, and was suddenly wearing purple.

Enough was enough. He backed off for the moment, and sent in the snake.

The snake was hit with a brilliant white orb of _not-chakra_ , followed by the tainted chakra of the jinchuuriki brat, no longer wrapped in orange but in pale yellow—

"You!" shouted the jinchuuriki. "I'll never forgive you! You got me back in the _dress_!"

"If you didn't do that stupid Sexy Jutsu all the time it never would have gotten confused!" the girl shouted back. She'd gotten a… sort of kunai-headed spear from somewhere, and was holding it remarkably steady.

"Focus!" snapped the Uchiha boy. "Treat him like the Black Queen. All at once!"

Orochimaru decided it was time to withdraw for further consultation with Kabuto.


	2. Notes

How SChuunin happened is a bit of a mystery -- they were herded into a separate room, and told there was another test to pass, like a game to play, before they continued. Then they were all in the Medium, and had to win to go home. 

Team Seven is all on Derse:

Naruto is **Witch of Hope** , **Land of Whirlpools and Specters**. The Game didn't give any explanation for why he got a usually-female class; his peers decided it must be because of the Sexy Jutsu. (In actuality, it's more that he's REALLY ACTIVE, but doesn't have the temperament to be a Lord.) He hates the outfit but has a terrible time redesigning it -- he can pretty much more only go back to his normal clothes. His Denizen confrontation was unusual in that Abraxas also wanted to talk to Kurama, and they had a lengthy discussion with Naruto spectating. In the end Kurama was promised his own Tailed Beast session if he actually got the others to agree to it. Hope, fully realized, can be very explode-y (see the Science Wand and Aranea-influenced Jake), and as Witch of Hope Naruto can fling it around a lot. (When he learns Rasengan it'll be second nature to charge them with Hope.) He was EXTREMELY disappointed to discover that kage bunshin do not inherit Game powers. 

Sasuke is **Thief of Rage** , Land of **Shadows and Stagnancy**. His Land is nasty. He generally modifies his god tier outfit with a matching-color Uchiha fan on the back, although he's not too keen on the purple. He put his all into playing the Game, because it's pretty obvious all this would come out of nowhere for Itachi. (Unbeknownst to him, Rage thieving wouldn't have much of an effect on Itachi. Throwing Rage AT him would have more.) (Most of the rest of Akatsuki would be hilariously vulnerable to Rage theft. They wouldn't know what to do with themselves.) Sasuke has also learned Valuable Lessons about depending on other people sometimes. He won't discuss any details of his encounter with his Denizen, which he fought and killed, but there's a rumor going around that he attacked it after it told him to dial it back a notch.

Sakura is **Maid of Life** , **Land of Wood and Wind**. She was EXTREMELY pissed off that her Classpect doesn't seem to have any innate offense abilities, and went overboard with the alchemizing to try to compensate. That kunai-spear? Shoots fire. Regular throwing kunai? Have spikes that pop out after they hit. Pockets? Filled with miniature explosives. She, Naruto, and Sasuke all died non-justly, non-heroically at one point after an ill-advised hug attempt. (Her shoes contain tiny dart guns, but she never did get those to work right.) Tenten helped her a lot with the raw materials for the alchemizing.

As for the rest!

Shikamaru is **Prince of Time** , and boy is he unhappy about it. He's particularly not happy about the Game in general, and takes it as a personal attack that cloud-watching in the Medium is about information-gathering, not relaxing. 

Chouji is **Rogue of Space**. He takes it pretty well -- better than either of his teammates take their roles. He did postpone both god tier and confronting his Denizen until very late in the game, and it took both Shikamaru and Ino to do it. He won't tell anyone what his deal with Echidna was. 

Ino is **Bard of Mind**. Dire, DIRE fates await anyone who comments on the codpiece. As much as possible, she transforms it into a short wrap skirt, but it still reverts if she gets too distracted. As Bard of Mind, she's a success. Her negotiation with her Denizen Sibyl went on for sixteen and a half hours, but at the end of it Ino had the grist hoard. Ino is on Derse. 

Team Eight is all Prospit:

Hinata is **Sylph of Heart**. She thought she didn't have any offense abilities, either, but didn't mind too much. However, it turned out she does have some abilities, at least against people with repressed emotions: Neji started bullying her, she panicked, there was a sort of crackling noise, and then Neji was crying and talking about his feelings. Neji actually felt much better afterwards, but Sasuke still avoids her like the plague. (Also, it was after talking with Hinata that Sakura decided to alchemize all those weapons, but that's not definitively connected.)

Shino is **Seer of Doom**. He's feeling a little under the weather due to having almost twice as many kikaichu as he's used to -- it didn't feel right leaving them to die, so after going god tier he went back and picked up all the kikaichu from his now-dead body. 

Kiba is **Mage of Breath** , he had to go through the whole Game without Akamaru, and he was really, really, really unhappy about it -- probably the unhappiest one there. He was all for finishing REALLY QUICKLY. 

Neji is **Heir of Blood** , Derse dreamer. He didn't quite get his canon attitude adjustment from the Hearty Thing, just got his emotions unrepressed. And then Hinata, Ino, and Sakura collaborated to remove the Caged Bird Seal -- Neji didn't ask them to, but Lee and Tenten did, plus there were concerns that the Black Queen might know how to activate it. THAT brought about one hell of an attitude adjustment. He's currently faking the seal's presence with a Bloody Thing. 

Lee is **Page of Light** , Prospit dreamer. He was not very confident about his ability to play the role, especially to start with. But! Game abilities don't run on chakra, so he can do them as well any anyone else!

Tenten is **Knight of Void** , Prospit dreamer. A lot of what she does she can already nearly do with scrolls, but she enjoys generating new variations and alchemizing new weapons. (Tenten is mostly Void as commentary on her dearth of screentime.)


End file.
